Short Term Disability

Yes, STD.

I've not been impressed with how my company handles maternity leave. "Extremely Disappointed" probably understates my feelings but it's the nicest phrasing for it. Well I thought I was getting a lucky break the other week when they announced a voluntary STD plan being offered this year at open enrollment. However at least 70 people have to sign up for the program to get it going, which I thought would be the killer.

I squelched my hope and waited for the paperwork to arrive. It would start 2 weeks after onset of the disability and pay 60% of my normal compensation. And it was reasonably priced. Actually after seeing the pricing I was hopeful that maybe 70 people would go for it (my company employees ~300).

And I want to sign up, but the kicker is that I CAN'T USE IT for my maternity leave because it's a preexisting condition! Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME? The girl that's been asking for something like this for years can't get in on it! I told our ins person that I would have very much liked to sign up before this became a preexisting condition, but as it was never offered until NOW that wasn't a possibility! I mean come on, there has to be some kind of allowance at a first offering?

But our ever helpful ins person let me know that I should go ahead and sign up so that they can't deny me coverage later and I can use it in the future. Again, are you F*CKING KIDDING ME? What is the friggin point of paying for something that I would hopefully only ever use for maternity leave when I may not be able to have future children and can't use for the current one?

So I don't want to sign up out of spite for the fact that I won't get to use it, BUT my participation might be needed to help it get off the ground so that in case I actually do this pregnancy thing again it would be there for me. BUT I seriously can't get my head around what a crapper of a situation this is for me. Cause to me the situation is literally: You're screwed either way now and if you sign up you might not be screwed in the future if PCOS and IF don't screw you again and you shall pay for it all in the meanwhile.

I won't go into the thoughts about TTC#2 right now, but it is understandably a complex issue for me and one I'd rather not think about for a couple of years (or at least until after this one is born).

It's just so typical that I got what I want, pregnancy and STD, but can't enjoy it. I guess I should adjust my attitude but I need a bit longer to cool off.

29 weeks

The BPP was fast today, he was already doing the practice breathing when she put the probe on me. So 10 out of 10 again. It turns out that they will only be doing measurements every 3 weeks, so no updates on the Hulk's hulk.

The reason I haven't gotten any u/s pics up lately is that I'm lazy, AND, all the MFM pics I keep getting aren't nice high contrast thermals like I used to get. They are kinda grey and blah and you really do have to know what you're looking at to see it on these. It's kinda disappointing.

I had a real squirmy one for the NST. Lots of movement.

Everything was great, save one disaster... I didn't close my water bottle up good before I put it in my purse and it leaked! Not such a big deal except my cell phone was the primary victim.

It's dismantled and drying out. We will attempt to bring it back to life tomorrow morning. If not, it's not a huge loss... we were planning on getting new ones soon but we wanted to wait until closer to Christmas and hopefully get some better deals. I hope it lives but I will get over it quickly if it doesn't.

Oh, and in the last week I've had my first few noticeable braxton-hicks. The first couple almost felt like movement except I was walking and they made me stop in my tracks. I had one last night that caught me so off guard that I gasped loudly.

In other news, I'm pissed off at every thing and one. Seriously, do not cross me right now, I will bite off your head. I don't think it has so much to do with the hormones, it's more that I am just sick of dumb crap and not willing to put up with it right now... that and a cascade of sucky to bad news lately doesn't help either. So, Paper Delivery Guy, if I see you anytime soon, prepare for an ass chewing.

I am a *Rockstar*

Did you ever have a problem you couldn't fix and then one day, you fix it? And you feel like the SMARTEST PERSON ALIVE, EVER!

Finally overcame one of those.

We work with this really, really dumb software at work. Actually, we just upgraded this year from a previous version and NO ONE could figure out how to get it to stop doing this one really, teeny, tiny, annoying, drive you nutZ thing.

Today I did!

Victory is mine!

I just had to share.

BPP & NST

The BPP (biophysical profile) was first. I won't go into the details of the scoring of it (although, I'm sure Dr. Google can fill you in if you're interested) but he got a 10 out of 10. I was a little nervous about the practice breathing that we needed to see him do. The tech said it is usually the hardest thing to catch them doing. We'd look at his head a couple of times and he'd be opening and closing his mouth but it's the diaphragm muscle movement that counts. But finally he did it (and for the required 30 seconds) and we were finished in less than 30 mins (it all has to happen in 30mins or less).

He was head down again at this u/s. I think he turned around the other week but was glad to see him back down again. She calculated the Amniotic Fluid Index and we got a 12 (anywhere between 8 and 23 is good apparently). Also, I am still growing a GIANT. His measurements put him at 3.56lb. The average at this gestation (according to this chart) is about 2.22lb. He's in the 85th percentile.

And we got a really good look at his face today. Usually you just see a creepy skeleton face with 2D u/s, but today I could really see it well and not so creepy looking. He looks like his dad! Really! His cheeks and his nose are dead ringers. Very cool to see that. (Good to know that my clinic didn't screw up the sperm samples.)

Then it was time for the NST (non stress test). I got propped up in a nice recliner and the monitors put on me. I had to hold the heart rate monitor on me the whole time so that it picked up the rate properly so my fingers got a bit tired from the pressing. It was very relaxing to lay in the recliner with the morning sunlight coming in the window and Enya playing softly in the background with my baby's heartbeat coming through the monitor's speakers. I could have easily dozed off, but I worked to stay awake since you're supposed to click a button when you feel the baby move.

After the test was over my MFM doc came and let me know that everything looked great. He was concerned about the size of the baby. I let him know that I passed my first GTT just fine. He wants me to repeat at 32 weeks. He said in his experience that babies in the 85%ile at this point usually go over the 90% before the end which can cause problems. He said sometimes they come out fine and sometimes they don't and need a C-section. I know he said that to me on purpose, as in, put this on your horizon, because it's looking like you might need one.

I had really, really hoped for a non-induced, natural birth, but when your doc starts talking about a seriously large kid coming out of your vagina, and not in a hypothetical way, it's scary. I don't want to overly freak about this yet, but I will definitely be asking about the cold-hard reality at my next appointment with McSoothy. In the meanwhile, I find it very comforting that I will be having these weekly tests and watching the baby grow. At least I can see this coming and I don't just have to sit around wondering if I'm growing a linebacker or not.

And since my monitoring appts are on Wednesdays I will be changing my weekly pregnancy updates from Tuesdays to Wednesdays from now on.

28 weeks

Third Trimester! Win!

I have to do my post earlier than I would like today because I have a client meeting pretty far away and won't get home until near midnight. A part of me really hates the travel and late night. And a part of me feels ever greatful for this client because I had to visit them on the day of my successful IUI. I'm sure that fertilization occurred on that trip (their wasn't any homework because of the trip that month). So every time I'm back there I think it's a lucky place.

But tomorrow I might not be so cheerful because I have my first non-stress test and biophysical profile at 7:30 am and I will have to be out of the house before 7am to make it on time. I will definitely be dragging tomorrow afternoon.

The good news has been that I haven't had swelling since wearing my compression socks! Score for me! I considered Hillary's request to take a picture of them, but my feet are just not photogenic enough for the internet. The non-swelling isn't very exciting anyhow.

The trouble breathing deeply is extremely annoying and frustrating. I find myself focusing on it and getting upset when I can't manage it which kinda makes it worse. But as high up as I can feel the baby kicking these days it doesn't surprise me.

And I'd like to report my first real "pregnancy craving". Since becoming pregnant, I have used it as an excuse to justify chocolate or ice cream or pickles, but I like those foods and would eat them at times regardless of what's in my womb. But over the last couple of weeks I have been growing a desire to eat... RAISINS (duh duh DUH). I'm not a raisin fan (except for the California Raisins of course... maybe their Christmas special will be on this year!)... I can stand them, but wouldn't choose to eat them normally. But I walked by a bag of trail mix the other day and couldn't resist it for the raisins, and they are definitely my favorite part of the mix. I've since stocked up on those nasty little black things (and golden ones too).

Alright, time to work.

I hate my mother

I have started a handful of posts about something my mother has done to piss me off or hurt my feelings but I try to leave it off of here because I don't want to write things I wouldn't want the kid to see someday. I hate how my mother constantly talks terribly about her mother (deserved or not) and I'd like to avoid doing that to my kid. But today, I just have to get it out.

Yesterday we went to my Brother and SIL's for my nephew's first birthday (they shall be referred to as B&A). My family was there along with A's whole family.

My mom was being my mom, which annoys me enough, but I was really ticked off at her yesterday and it took me until this morning to put my finger on why. It mostly had to do with the fact that she kept acting like she cared about me and my pregnancy in front of everyone, when she does not.

She never said anything nice to me while we were going through treatment. She never called to ask how things were going or try to offer support. When she did call I called her she would go on forever about how cute my nephew is. At one point I told her it hurt my feelings for her to go on like that and to stop... which did not go over well, of course I was being unreasonable and a bad guy with this request.

Since getting pregnant she hasn't bothered to ask me anything or try to help in anyway or act like she cares in general. We told her when the gender scan would be and I talked (ok actually, she talks for about 2 hours straight while I just say "ok" over and over again and then she says goodbye and hangs up, often with out ever asking me a question about myself) to her on the phone after but she never asked about the scan and I decided not to remind her about it. After all, she wanted a girl so badly, I knew telling her it was a boy would probably only disappoint her. My dad called a few weeks later and asked.

I hadn't even talked to her since that phone call (about 7 weeks now). So she really shouldn't act like she has had any involvement with this pregnancy.

She doesn't even know I switched doctors and hospitals. She doesn't know I was sent to a high risk OB and was put on a high risk schedule. She hasn't even ever asked if we had a nursery theme picked out.

I just want to scream at her that you have to EARN the "Grandma" title, cause right now I don't see any reason for her to be a significant part of our lives.

If weren't for my Dad, I probably would have walked away years ago and not looked back.

So basically I felt like it was convenient for her to pretend that she cares about me and the baby yesterday in front of all of A's family and I don't appreciate being used like that.

I have tried to resolve some of my issues with my mother many, many times in the past, but she always immediately launches in to her defensive position to act like she is being bullied and miss treated and starts screaming and crying and making me the bad guy (really, it's quite a spectacle). Everyone in my family knows her game, but you can't call her out on it because she will deny it until she dies. It's just not worth it anymore.

---

Another thing that irked my about yesterday (and actually isn't my mom's fault) is that I was kinda hoping that we might get some hand me downs from B&A that Barrett has outgrown. So far nothing has been mentioned or offered and I would feel rude to bring it up myself. My other brother and SIL passed all of my older nephew's baby things on to my parents for whoever needed it... well I didn't get to it first (obviously, no matter how hard I tried), so B&A took everything. So I kinda feel like it would be nice for them pass some stuff on too but I don't think they have any intention of doing that. And I'd be willing to give it back if they wanted it for future children, because IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. And my older nephew's mom even made the comment to me during the party about how, "We can just keep passing everything on!" Yeah, except that chain seem to have broken. It kinda hurts my feelings.

Compressed

The swelling has become an issue... to me at least (McSoothy is not concerned). Yesterday my feet looked like dough that needed to be punched down. A day before I woke up in the morning already swollen and as I walked around the house I could feel the tops of my feet jiggle. Not pleasant. And just for fun, my right foot gets it much worse than the left. No idea why that is.

So I bought some compression stockings. Yes, like the ones grandma wears.

I went to this one pharmacy in town that advertises their selection of stockings and when I walked in an associate asked me if I needed any help. Normally I say no, but staring at wall-o-stockings I decided I needed the help. And I was really glad the lady working there was knowledgeable.

She asks me a few questions and then starts pointing out hosiery choices. "These are $64 and these are $115." $64 and $115! Holy shit these are expensive! I asked why a pair of stockings costs $115? Those were full panty hose with the maternity panel. I wear jeans every day so that is not an issue.

And picking a pair is kinda complicated. You have to measure around the ankle and calve, and know what level of compression you need. Yeah, I was glad for the help.

Finally we got down to a reasonable pair of knee highs for my swollen ankles that was only $30. I have done some preliminary checking on the internet and apparently they are priced competitively.

Today's test run of my new stockings went well. It looks like I have staved off the swelling pretty decently. I probably need to get another pair or two so that I don't have to wash them every night.

And in other restrictive garment news, I received a BellaBand today. I never got one before because I did not see their function, and mostly still don't. I have no idea how they would help to keep unbuttoned jeans on. And my appropriately sized band, that I was at the upper edge of the size, really isn't that snug. I guess it will be later, but I don't see how they serve any purpose at all in early pregnancy. I also think it probably makes going to the bathroom more difficult.

The reason I got it was that nearly ALL of my shirts are too short to cover the maternity panel on my pants and I ordered the lace edge band to try to cover up for that. It's very distracting to be pulling my shirt down and pants up every couple minutes. It has been really difficult for me to find shirts that are long enough. I've scored a couple of undershirts, but I need something to help out when undershirts are not appropriate.

Well, time to decompress and remove the stockings and go to bed.

27 weeks

Not much to report this week other than really tired and a lot of trips to the bathroom. I love to feel that kid kick, but the bladder capacity is suffering for it these days.

Spending $$$

We have dived into the baby purchases, big time. Since we don't live around any major baby retailers, we finally had a chance this weekend to travel to the big city and do some shopping.

First we went to the Cotton Babies brick and mortar store. I was shocked that I actually live within a reasonable distance to the only real store they have. We are doing the cloth diaper thing and after much research and deliberation I finally decided on how I want to do it (because there are SO many options out there). I'll have to show off my stash which is nearly complete in another post.

But Cotton Babies makes the BumGenius diapers which are pretty cool. I planned to buy 6 BG's one size diapers and 6 Fuzzibunzs (and I have lots of prefolds and more, I've thought this out pretty well) and then see which pocket diaper worked better for us before investing in a couple dozen of each. (Plus, I hear these diapers don't always fit newborns too well anyhow so I should have some time to decide.)

I was happy to find the bins of 'seconds' that apparently didn't meet the quality standards for BG diapers and the One Size 3.0's were only $11 apiece, but without the insert (Normally $17.95). But the inserts were $3 apiece when you bought a six pack and that's how many I needed. So I got my diapers for about $4 apiece off the retail price and the defects were marked with tape so that you could easily see them and they were extremely minor and nothing I'm worried about them compromising the diapers.

I got some other stuff too, including some more covers, snappis, liners, doublers, wet bags, and Sophie. Yes, I spent $20 on a baby chew toy. I almost can't believe that I did it, but she's sooo cute and has gotten so many good reviews. And she's officially my baby's first toy so perhaps that makes her more special.

It was a lot of fun to see and touch the things in the store. So much better than staring at them on the computer. I was surprised to see Sustainablebabyish karate pants there. They are a lot thicker and heavier than I would have guessed. I would not invest that kind of money in a pair of them now, but maybe next year when it gets cool and I know how big he will be they would be a nice piece to have. Despite the hefty tab, it was a really fun store.

Next, for the first time in my life, I stepped into a Babies R Us. We actually didn't get that much. I kept saying to DH, "They got all this stuff, it must be useful somehow... or not."

We spent a long time in the carseat section and tried a few out in our backseat to make sure that they would fit. We found a pack n play and some sheets for it, this was our biggest purchase. They didn't have the baby monitors in that we wanted. We already ordered our furniture so that's done, but we need to get one of our relatives with a Costco membership to order the mattress we want. We still need a swing and a bouncer seat, but those we can get around home (Target) so we are putting them off.

We really didn't get a whole lot. I feel like we are down to more of the little stuff at this point (bottles, blankets, toys, clothes). Although we aren't having a shower, I am hoping that for Christmas we get some baby stuff that we could actually use (as opposed to the stuff people would normally get us) or money/gift cards to pick up some of that stuff at the end.

We had a delicious Italian lunch... I had really wanted to go to this hummus place the other week, but the crazy hummus cravings have disappeared but being right next door to an Italian restaurant made the Italian cravings appear.

We didn't really go anywhere else because that was enough. We were tired and wanted to get home in time for church.

And when I got home it turned out that the baby sling I ordered arrived. Ambrosia was happy to let me demo it with her, Bliss, not so much.

Well, I have a bunch more fluff (aka diaper stuff) to prep and that should keep me happy and busy for awhile. Now just to find the time to finish painting the room and I'll be in great shape.

Hallelujah

I got the freakin H1N1 vaccine FINALLY!

I was in all out melt down mode this morning. I'm reading comments by dumbasses about the evils of the "new" and "untested" vaccine who think that prevention is enough. You can try to prevent it all day, but at the end of the day, some people will get sick! And I don't want to be one of those people. (And by the way, studies have shown that this virus is being transmitted through the air and not by contact, so washing hands won't offer you a lot of prevention, but a SCUBA mask and oxygen tank might if you are going to rely on prevention.)

That plus being very tired from this week's work stuff and having trouble breathing, I just could not handle it this morning. I felt completely worn down and started calling numbers trying to get a flu shot (again). Pretty much all the counties have their asses on backwards about this shot and either don't have any or give it out to ANYONE meaning none left for me.

Finally, it turns out one county is giving it out to ONLY PREGNANT WOMEN! I called and they told me that they had a bunch left and if I came at the end of the day it would be fine. I had a staff meeting this morning but planned to leave after it was over.

BUT FIRST, my coworkers brought their kids into trick or treat. One of the kids had a persistent cough. It sounded phlegmy, so hopefully it isn't anything serious. Regardless, I was not happy about it. Guess who's porch light will be off this year.

I got there and about had another panic attack because their was a big sign in the entry that said only children 2-4 were getting vaccines now (which was completely opposite what they told me on the phone).

I got to the clinic and the sign must have been wrong (I think it just needed to be updated because according to their website on Wednesday that was the case, but then they got the shipment in for preggos on Thursday). I lied and used my old address from when I did live in the county (which is still the address on my driver's licenses... I don't think I will lose any sleep over that one).

I sat down in the chair and the tech let me know that I got the next to the last thimersol free vaccine! I'm SO glad that I didn't wait until the end of the day to come! I felt like I'd won the lottery or something after that.

That's a lot of drama for a little shot, but I'm so glad I got it. It will still be vulnerable for another week or so assuming that I respond appropriately. I'm just relieved that I can cross this one off my worry list.

Here's a new article for those still on the fence.

26 weeks

Is it Tuesday already?

Dinner last night went pretty well. I saw the clients I was worried about bringing it up before most people got there and sat at a table away from them to avoid further conversation. Now to just get through the rest of the week.

Had another appointment with McSoothy this morning. She had a trainee physician's assistant that saw me first. He was so light with the doppler it was merely gliding on the u/s gel. I told him he could press down and he said he didn't want to. Consequently, he never really found the heart, just blood flow and that was pretty pathetic and quite. McSoothy comes in later and puts down a single blob of gel, applies appropriate pressure, and immediately get the heart loud and strong. He has a lot to learn still.

McSoothy gave me a list of doulas she's worked with and recommends. One sounded really stellar but I think she is in high demand so I will just have to see.

And I feel really pessimistic about my odds of having a non-induced, non-surgical birth these days to begin with. Who can blame me? Seems like everyone I know gets induced or schedules a c/s or gets induced and winds up with a c/s. Seems like non-induced vaginal births are the exception these days (and I'm not even getting into the drug issue). We shall see.

I asked about H1N1 vaccines again too. They don't have any and don't know when they'll get them in. And I guess my state must have actually had a law that pregnant women and children 3 and under not get thimersol containing vaccines because I just saw that that has been waived. I guess if I wanted a vaccine at all costs that would be good, but I really would rather not have the thimersol. So, it sounds like, if I go get in one of those obscenely long lines full of people that are not one of the priority groups (preggos, children 2-4, people caring for children <6 months, and people under 18 with underlying medical conditions) and wait in the cold for either (A) nothing or (B) a shot with mercury because they don't have to offer me the mercury free one anymore! Of course, one of these lines isn't even scheduled to form in my area until Nov 7th. (Seriously, have you seen these things on TV, what's with the middle aged folks that obviously aren't getting them for their asthmatic children? Get out of the freakin line! Let the priority groups go first!)

So in the meanwhile I will proceed with plan A: Giving EVERYONE around me that so much clears their throat too many times the evil eye while holding my breath and running the other way.

Oh yeah, cause seriously, I find myself short of breath for no reason a lot already. And it's even a little hard to take a deep breath. If I get a respiratory infection I do not think I will do well.

Client Relations

Sorry if this is confusing, bear with me.

I have a big client event coming up this week starting with dinner with a bunch of clients tomorrow night. Last year, I was freaking out over looking like a pimple faced teen cause I was all broke out. This year I look like I'm smuggling something but it's not completely clear whether it's a baby or too many desserts yet.

I would have preferred to not say anything about it and let people just think that I am getting fatter (which I am), but that will not be possible.

You see, the other week one of my coworkers outed me to one of my clients at their board meeting! I was kinda livid when he told me this the next day. How did the status of my uterus become conversation? It didn't, he just blabbed.

This created a problem for me since I have projects and on going work for them. They sent me a congratulatory email that morning and all of a sudden I'm having to reply that I will be on leave for about 2 months and who will be covering my work while I'm out. It was going to happen, I just wasn't planning on having to do it that morning. I don't think the coworker that outed me knows that he kinda made a mess for me.

Compounding this issue, many of my clients talk to each other. Particularly at big trade events like the one next week, but they also have regular working relationships and chat then too.

So when another client was visiting the office other day I felt I had to tell them too because I know they talk. And then I answer the phone by chance later in the day and another client (who I don't directly work with) said he heard that I was carrying one! Frickin A, word travels fast.

Anyhow, back to dinner tomorrow. I WAS NOT planning on bringing it up (I don't see my clients in person very often, so I figured I could get away with it until the end of the year), but the secretaries from the original client that I was outed to will be there. And these ladies were always asking me about kids and such and now I know that they will want to talk at dinner. And then all the other clients I have will be right there. And then some will start wondering who will do their work, and... well I'm probably imagining it worse than it actually will be, but it's still going to be a little messy.

And my boss doesn't seem to be concerned with lining up my project transitions while I'm on leave which makes me a little antsy. It might be nice to know that before people start asking me over dessert.

And then I get a little jealous that my male coworkers don't have to go through this. Having a kid is barely a disruption in their schedules... many of them come back to work later in the day after their wives have babies (yes, there is SOOOO much wrong with that). But client relation issues (and vagina ripping) aside, I still think carrying another life inside you is pretty cool and worth it. I'm glad to be dealing with that this year and not a bunch of prometrium induced zits.

Pregnant Veggie

I have intentionally shied away from directly addressing this topic because I (a) don't want to attract the trolls, and (b) don't really have it all figured out. But Becky asked in her comment the other day and I figure maybe I should do a post about it.

First, getting some chips off my shoulder, it really pisses me off when someone IRL, a meat eater, asks me about my diet, because it's always in a way that insinuates that it must be inadequate for growing a baby. To them I say, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Anyone that has been a vegetarian for very long knows that most people think you need more protein than you actually do. This is a hard concept for people used to eating a meat main dish at 2+ meals per day.

I would also say to these people that in at least one way I think my diet is superior (than the average meat eater) because I think about intake of protein all day long. Meaning that hopefully my baby is getting what it needs throughout the day instead of a big portion at dinner.

I also believe that plant protein is really important in any diet and that as a vegetarian I probably do a much better job of incorporating it than most meat eaters do.

And I'd say it's working. My baby consistently measures ahead (usually by 2 weeks) and mostly in the legs. I have read that measuring shorter in the legs can be a sign of poor nutrition and that definitely isn't happening here.

For those that have been reading for a while, you probably recall that I discussed this topic with my nutritional counselor and she wasn't concerned one bit. Her reasoning was that I have been doing this for a long time (since I was 8) and I'm tall and (mostly) healthy. If I hadn't been eating an adequate diet, I probably would be shorter and possibly show other signs of malnutrition.

And on the tall thing, I am about 2" taller than my mother and nearly as tall as my father. My brothers are both taller than me (as expected) but I am about 4" taller than my meat eating half-sister. (Since she is my half sister obviously the genetics are a bit different, but my half brother, her full brother, is the tallest of us kids and is ~6'4" so it's not like they are both shorter).

I also have to acknowledge that dairy has been my friend during this pregnancy. Dairy is a really easy way for me to get complete protein and calcium and I eat a lot of it. I would have to completely rethink my diet without it.

So I don't have a magic number of grams of protein I shoot for everyday. Mostly I try to just make sure I get a certain amount with each meal and have several good snacks. I know if I'm going to be light on the protein for lunch that I should plan better for dinner or vice versa or an extra snack.

On the dairy thing, it's handy to remember that a single cup of milk has 8g of protein. If I'm feeling like I didn't do so well one day an extra glass of milk or two can really add on.

For breakfast I have switched to the dreaded microwave oatmeal! Yes, my dirty little secret. I found I couldn't eat as much oatmeal as I cooked on the stove and switched to the bags. I eat the Quaker Weight Control oatmeal which has 7g of protein. Mix that with nearly a cup of milk and some flax and I'm at ~15g.

Every day I have a snacks of cheese, nuts, and/or fruit. The cheese and nuts obviously help add in some protein.

For lunch I like to make a sandwich, normally with hummus and some cheese slices and veggies. I usually bring veggies for a side too and dip in extra hummus. And the (whole wheat) sandwich bread has some protein too. I probably average ~20g of protein for lunch.

Dinner could be anything as long as I feel that I'm getting sufficient protein. If we eat pasta, I use the Barilla Plus because it's got a lot of protein. We eat a lot of beans which provide decent protein. Vegetarian chili is a favorite this time of year. I got this cookbook and I really like it. The recipes are easy and good and have definitely helped us incorporate some new meals.

Then I have a big glass of milk to swallow my pills every night and stir in a packet of Carnation Breakfast Essential (no sugar added) chocolate flavoring which adds an extra 5g of protein to the milk.

I don't eat tofu. I'm not against tofu, but I'm not a big fan either and all the recipes I like are loaded with sodium (I'm already a little puffy, I don't need more) and the phytoestrogens freak me out a little. I am a former avid consumer of soy products and will probably go back after pregnancy, but I avoided soy during my follicular phase while TTC and just felt like I don't need it in my diet the way things are. I think the occasional soy is fine, but I try to keep it to a minimum and prefer minimally processed forms. I can't really explain myself fully on the topic and I don't necessarily think there is anything thing wrong with it, but it's just something I keep to a minimum right now.

I figure on an average day I'm getting around 80g of protein, and on some days I'm probably closer to 100g.

I discussed this topic with my new OB and she had my urine checked for protein. If you are defiecient in protein your body will start metabolizing itself, and I guess the kidneys are a preferred source of protein and it would show up in my urine if that was the case (this happens with preeclampsia too). I've not had an issue so I guess there is some more proof that things are going alright.

But I continue to be diligent.

If their are any vegetarians (or vegans) reading this that have tricks for getting more protein into their diets please leave a comment, I'd love to hear them.

25 weeks

Pregnancy is scary. Infertility is scary too, but getting pregnant was far scarier because all of a sudden, someone's life was actually at stake. Before it was just my sanity... my sanity is important, but if I lost the baby, someone would be dead and my sanity would be doubly shot.

So 24 weeks was a good milestone, but getting past that I really feel reassured that everyday my baby is getting stronger and more prepared to survive outside the womb. It is more comforting than I thought it would be.

And it's a good time to reacknowledge that every day pregnant is a blessing.

It's not that I haven't always felt this way, but the fear has been so strong at times I completely bury the blessings that I should be feeling and fixate on the fear. Now that the fear has subsided it's easier to get back where I should be.

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I got the results from my blood work a couple days ago. I officially passed my GTT. The level the lab reported was 107 and my glucometer picked up 118, but there were a few minute that elasped, so I'd say my glucometer did a decent job. I apparently had elevated fasting glucose levels which is weird cause THEY DIDN'T DRAW ONE. So we are disregarding that but WTH people? Where did that value come from, cause it didn't come from me.

My homocystine and folate were good, but I'd already been supplementing the folic acid for a few days, so those could be a bit skewed.

My iron was good but my calcium was a little low. I was pretty disappointed about that because I make a really good effort to take in the right amount of calcium every day (spaced throughout the day for better absorption). I have been told to take some tums. I hate tums, but I can live with it.

Blood work, pills, improvements

I did my early 1 hour glucose tolerance test yesterday. I've done a couple 2 hours (cause of the PCOS) before and never really minded the drink, but the stuff they gave me for the 1 hour was AWFUL. I could barely get it down in the 5 minutes. I've always gotten a not too unpleasant flat soda like drink before (namely orange Glucola). I said something to the tech about how awful it was compared to the glucola and she said that they don't make glucola in 50gram (1 hour) doses. I'm not looking forward to having to do that again (which I will, probably around 28 or 30 weeks).

They hadn't got some additional blood work from my McSoothy's office I was suppose to do so I set about trying to get a copy of that order sent over before my blood draw at the end. And I was successful, but I officially put McSoothy's FAX machine on the "Not to be trusted" list.

At the end of my time I took out my glucometer so that I can compare it with the actual lab result when I get them. I got a 118 which, if my glucometer is accurate at all, means I should have passed. I think passing is less than 140 for these.

And later in the day someone called from the High Risk OB's office and let me know my thyroid results were "excellent". I didn't ask for the actual level because I know I would end up googling and second guessing. Not activities I need to be doing. But I have to say that I was really impressed that someone called me back just 2 days after I had blood work done for normal test results... I usually can't get that for abnormal ones. Gold star.

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I now take 18 pills per day. 5 for breakfast, 4 for lunch, and 9 for dinner. Oh well, at least I just have to swallow them.

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We are making solid progress on the bedroom situation. The office/guest room is virtually complete. DH took the week off (since he works for the govt and gets all kinds of time off) and we have the base paint in the kid room and he's finishing the closet system today. This closet redo is my crack. I have been looking forward to doing this as much as any other baby prep related task. I just wish I had some baby stuff to put in it now.

I'd post pictures, but I think it will be more fun just to wait until everything is done.